Learning about Ashley and Joshua

Now that we are nearing the five month mark, we are learning who these two new people are that have joined our family. When you have a baby, whether bio or adopted, they are cute and cuddly, and you watch them grow and learn and attach to them. The only thing I've been able to think of to equate the adoption of an older child to is that it is kind of like an arranged marriage to someone with a lot of emotional childhood baggage. You bring this older person into your life permanently not knowing anything about them, other than life has not been easy for them. As with any marriage, it doesn't take long for some things to come up that can drive you crazy if you let them. It has been fun to slowly see their personalities being revealed and get to know who they are. Here are some of the things we have learned.
Ashley is constantly talking or making noise. She wants to be a part of the conversation so much that she will join in, even when she doesn't really understand what we are talking about. Tatum and I have joked that if Ashley couldn't talk, she would explode, but if she doesn't stop talking, we may explode. She is very curious. If we are somewhere like the doctor or a store, she will ask about each item she sees, check out the computer, etc. She loves to learn and asks a lot of questions. She knows a lot about the Bible and can recount the stories from it in great detail. Ashley loves to dance, especially hip hop. She just started a hip hop dance class. Ashley definitely sees the glass as half full. Whenever we have some kind of conflict, she will go off by herself for a short while, and then she soon comes back, tears in her eyes and apologizes. She is starting to get a little more sassy, but she is 13 after all.
Ashley makes friends very easily and loves to give gifts, write notes of appreciation and make things for others. She is amazing at cross stitch and very artistic.

Joshua started out pretty hard headed and stubborn. If something made him upset, it could ruin his entire day (and wasn't so fun for the rest of us either). He would shut down in school and got into a few altercations. What a difference a few months have made. When he is upset about something now, he does not let it bother him for very long. He has started karate, and it has been a very positive thing. He has to earn stripes at home for his attitude and doing extra work, and he looks for things to do now to earn stripes. One thing we have discovered about Joshua is that he can really clean. His future wife is going to love him! Jim and Joshua started cleaning the garage one Saturday. Jim had to go work on something else, and Joshua cleaned it for hours. He will spontaneously clean every inch of his room. He and I were cleaning the bathroom the other day, and he stood up on the countertop and asked if he could clean the light fixtures. He pushed the toilet brush so far into the toilet to clean it that it was stuck. He is very behind in school. He is probably around a 1st grade math level. Currently we work every day on math and reading. He is starting to sound out a lot of words now and is making good progress. He will start summer school next week. We just hope he can make it through the program as he really needs the extra help. If he looks at some work and thinks it is too hard, he tends to shut down before he can even get started on it, and his attention span is not very long. This is one area we need to find some extra help in. Joshua loves all three of his siblings and spends a lot of time playing with each of them. He also loves playing with his cousins and the boys in the neighborhood.
He has coined some words that we will probably always use. "Allowasum" means all of it or everything. "Bar-b-cute" is how he pronounced BBQ one day, so anytime he does something cute we say, "Josh, you are bar-b-cute." And the kids jokingly call each other a "pepe-etka", which is a Russian word that means nose dropper. I am not sure how that got started, but they all think it is funny. He has now grown over 2" and loves to eat.