Catching up-December 18-20

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Kari
We were thinking it would be one of our first slow days, but not yet. We were getting ready this morning when Oksana called to tell us the shocking news that A has changed her mind. Oksana picks us up a half hour later, and we head to the sanatorium. We now have to meet A with the orphanage lawyer and the sanatorium director present. I won’t go into the details of this meeting, but basically everyone told A that this is her decision, and we will all support her either way. When she left she gave Jim a hug. Then she came and gave me a very long hug, looking me straight in the eyes. I wondered if this would be the last time I would ever get to hug her.

The next stop was the notary. We were going to have both kids documents notarized today, but now A’s are on hold. And we have another problem. If she doesn’t go with us, then we have to change Sasha’s paperwork because we were going to have one court in A’s region. It is expensive to change the paperwork, so for now we don’t sign Sasha’s either until we hear her decision. We go next door to Café Moня for lunch. We didn’t eat much breakfast after we heard the news about A, so we are happy to have lunch today. We cajole Vitaly, our driver, into joining us.

Next we head over to look at an apartment we might be moving into after we return from Kiev with Austin & Tatum. It is interesting and has enough room for the four of us to sleep, and it is only $30 a night. We get back in the car and discuss if we can go visit Sasha. With all that is going on with A, I hate to leave him alone for 5-7 days and not reassure him. We have time since we are still waiting for the municipal authority to sign his paperwork, so we head over there. That way if A agrees to be adopted, we can go see her tomorrow. We are all quiet on the way over, thinking and praying for A.

When we get to SB it is quiet. Some ladies are walking in the courtyard and tell Oksana there is a performance going on. I had read on some other blogs today is St. Nicholas Day. We go in, and a group of students are all dressed up in nice costumes doing a play. They have some contests and give out prizes. We see Ilona. Then we see Sasha. When he sees us, he gets up and comes to the back of the room and hugs us. He doesn’t want to go back, even though he can’t see now. I tell him he can go back, we will wait right there for him. I see him looking back now and then at us, smiling, and his friends look back also. He is so happy, and so are we. After the play, they give out nice boxes of candy to all the kids, and they give us each one, too. Ilona sees us and comes over for hugs. She stands with her arm around Jim for a long time. Then Natasha comes over.

We find out Vova is in Kiev for eye surgery. Vasya is still at the hospital. Vanya is in the sanatorium, so only Sasha, Natasha and Ilona are there from the UOO camp. A caregiver starts talking to me in Russian. Oksana is not around. I figure out she is asking if we are Sasha’s new parents, and she talks about how he will have a brother and sister. Then Oksana comes back, and she says all of the teachers and caregivers saw our album yesterday. They are all very happy for Sasha. I measure Ilona and Natasha for Grandma Judy. We have given Sasha a camera to take pictures of friends and the orphanage for memories. He runs off smiling to take pictures. Ilona and Natasha take us to another building. They take off their shoes, and I start to take mine off, but an older woman admonishes me to leave them on. We walk down a dark hallway and through a door. Katya and another girl are in there. There are a lot of bunk beds. Ilona is on a top bunk, Natasha below her. We snap their pictures. Ilona pulls a red envelope out and tells me it is for Tatum. I try to explain to her that she can give it to Tatum herself next week. Then Sasha shows up, so we go see his bedroom and take more pictures. He is on cloud nine, bouncing around, smiling and stopping people for photos. They all stop and pose and smile for him. We walk around the grounds some more snapping pictures. I keep hearing Clarke & Kris tell me, “Take lots of pictures.” We stop and a boy also named Sasha speaks a few English words to us. He is very engaging. I wonder if he is an orphan. We try to communicate a little. We really do need to learn a few more phrases in Russian. Then we find Oksana and Sasha and tell him we are going. We probably won’t see him until next week because we are going to Kiev to get Austin & Tatum. He hugs us and runs off.

We go back to the office of the local inspector. Oksana goes in for about 30 minutes. We wait in silence. My heart is still so heavy for A. I hope and pray she comes with us, if that is what she wants. I know she would be a beautiful addition to our family. She has people giving her advice from all sides. She is probably more emotionally drained than we are. So much more than a 12-year-old girl should be thinking about. My heart hurts for her. She should be home, in a warm bed, in a family. I pray that she follows her own heart, not someone else’s. I also think and pray about Tom Smith, their children, family and friends. Today is my good friend’s, Vickie Smith, funeral. I am here in Ukraine, but a piece of me is in Colorado missing and celebrating her life.


Friday, December 19th –

Jim (with a little Kari sprinkled in):
I woke up today fairly certain that A was going to turn us down and stay here in Ukraine. Kari woke up fairly certain that she was going to come with us.
If her decision was to stay, we figured it would be a quiet day. And then the phone rang.
It was about 8 a.m. when Oksana called to let us know that A had decided that she wants to be adopted, and A said this time her answer is FINAL! We are so relieved and happy, and we pray that she will always have peace with her decision.
So now we needed to take the orphanage lawyer back out to the sanitorium to get her agreement once again. Plus we had several other stops that needed to be made. So we’re off to the races once again!
Stop 1: We go to the notary to get the court decree/request document, which takes a lot longer than Oksana wanted. We sign three official documents and in their handwritten ledger.
Stop 2: After the notary, Oksana ran off to pick up some docs from an inspector while Kari and I ate breakfast at Café Moня (yeah, we like that place-thanks for telling us about it, Heidi!).
Stop 3: Then we go to another notary to create a power of attorney for Oksana. Her niece works there. We signed the docs, but they need one more signature, so Oksana’s niece said she will get it, then bring the docs to Oksana tonight (they live in the same apt building).
Stop 4: Oksana stops to make some copies, then takes these to the court to get that paperwork going.
Stop 5: We go to A’s orphanage to pick up their lawyer.
Stop 6: A quick stop at the Kherson inspector’s office, but no one is there.
Stop 7: Back to the court where we get our court date – Dec 30th. This is right in the middle of Ukraine’s holiday season, so it’s pretty amazing that we got this date-Oksana is awesome! The judge was joking with Oksana that she might be drunk since it’s during the holidays. As long as she can sign her name, I don’t care.
Stop 8: Finally we get to the sanitorium and see A. She meets us in the foyer of her building with big hugs. We go back into our little meeting room with Oksana and the lawyer where A states that she does in fact want to go with us, and that will be her final decision! (She says this with a big smile on her face.) We had a very pleasant, comfortable hour together. I kept thinking how great it will be once we are able to talk with A like Oksana can now. A is obviously very confident. She’ll look you right in the eye when she’s talking to you and can get animated when telling her stories. She told us how they stayed up all night last night trying to put St. Nicholas Day surprises for their friends under their pillows.
When Vitali returned with the car after dropping the lawyer off, we said good-bye. A hugged Kari and then me. This time she gave me a stronger hug and made a point of looking up right into my eyes during it.
Stop 9: It’s off to Hola Prystan to pick up Sasha’s signed paperwork. Oksana goes up to the inspector’s office, and Kari and I go for a walk through the park to the Dnipro River. Shortly after we return to the car, Oksana comes down in a hurry and says she needs us, so we follow her to another building where the Head of the Regional Administration’s office is. Normally, adoptive parents don’t have to meet with him, but since we are the first international adoption for this region, Oksana wants us there in case he wants to meet us. We wait in his outer office for a few minutes while the inspector talks to him. Kari and I are thinking this is just one more signature along the line. Then the inspector comes out and calls us in. We pull up seats around his desk. Here sits one of the most serious, intimidating men I have ever seen. Oksana informs us that he would like to ask us some questions. I’m nervous but excited at the same time. He looks directly at me for all of his questions, never once at Kari. He first asks specifically why did we choose Ukraine to adopt from. I tell him, somewhat nervously (OK, very nervously!) that while we could have adopted from the US, we know several families who have adopted from Ukraine, and we want our kids to be able to retain their language and history after we adopt them. Oksana translates and adds something about the US foster care program, that we don’t have orphanages in the US. Next, he says he has no legal reason not to allow us to adopt, but he is concerned about international adoption.
At this point, my nervousness is gone, and I’m excited about his questions, while still a little scared that he could deny us everything.
He asked if we have any biological children. I said we have two. He said that he is very concerned about this. How can he know that we will not love our bio children more than our adopted children? I said, “I promise that we will love these new children just as much as our bio kids. Kari adds that they will be full members of our family and will be treated the same. She also said that we met Sasha during a cultural exchange camp and that the four of us absolutely love him.
He said he is a patriot and would much prefer that all adoptions are kept within Ukraine. He then shows us a newspaper article with his picture in it that talks about his successes in the new Ukraine foster care program. I then tell him that every inspector we have talked to in this region has been very professional, and it is obvious that they care a great deal for the orphans here. He replied, “Dobre” (Good), and some more things that I can’t remember. I also told him that we are very grateful to him and Ukraine for allowing us to come here and adopt children.
Next, he asked if we could assure him that we would keep their office up to date by sending letters periodically telling about the kid’s new lives since this is their first international adoption. We had already talked about this with the inspector that was there with us, so we were all nodding our heads, and I once again assured him that we will be doing that, and we are looking forward to it. Then he said, “May God guide you!”, and he thanked us for what we are doing. Then he started signing the documents. When he was done, we all stood up. He came around his desk and gave me the firmest, eye-to-eye handshake I’ve ever had. I felt like he was giving us his blessing in that handshake, and I returned it wholeheartedly. It was a great feeling.
As we left, we saw all three of the inspectors from the other office on the street. Tatiana made the sign of the cross in front of both Kari and me with a big smile on her face. I just wanted to hug all three of them but decided to keep professional. We smiled and said thank you several times.
Stop 10: We took one of the regional inspector’s home since she stayed late for us and missed her bus.
Stop 11: An hour and a half drive back to Kherson. We went to the train station to buy tickets to Kiev to pick up Austin and Tatum and more tickets back to Kherson.
Stop 12: We stopped on the side of a road to meet another inspector who happened to be in the area for a meeting. I’m not sure what doc was passed – I’m just glad Oksana can keep track of it all.
Stop 13: Finally, we went to dinner. Oksana dropped us off, and we caught a cab back to the Bible House. Another exhausting day, but it was a great one.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Our first quiet morning. Today the plan is to move our bags to our new apt and leave them with another American family while we go to Kiev and back. We’ll also go visit A again before hopping on the train. We’re really looking forward to seeing Heidi and Felix and their kids, going to church tomorrow, then meeting Austin and Tatum at the airport on Monday. We probably won’t have internet. Thanks for your continued prayer and support. Please keep praying for all of the documents, approvals we need from officials, and of course for all four of our kids. Right now we figure best case scenario, we will be done around January 20-yes, Rolan and Eileen, we will probably get to see you in Kiev!