Monday and Tuesday

Heartbreak-Monday, December 15

-- Jim --

I’ve heard people describe their adoption trips as a roller coaster ride. For us, yesterday was a high point as A said “yes”. Today our roller coaster took us down fast. Vasya is not available.

We started out today hoping that Oksana could confirm the boys’ availability. She was busy making calls this morning, and was unhappy with the progress being made by the inspectors for the boys’ region. So she called us and off we went to “get them to work faster” on it. We’d do this by planting ourselves in their office while Oksana helped them with the calls that needed to be made.

By the time Oksana picked us up an noon, she had already gone to A’s orphanage to pick up some paperwork and medical forms, gone to see A and have her sign her consent to be adopted (basically a form letter where she filled in the blanks) and returned back to Kherson. First we stopped by a notary’s office to get the official documents requesting each of the three kids. The notary’s office was very elegant and professional. Kari and I waited in the lobby (a tiny room about 3 feet wide with a bench in it) for about 30 minutes while Oksana had the paperwork drawn up. We had to give her our passports and customs documents that we must carry with us at all times. Then she came and showed the documents to us and explained what they said. Then she left us again for a few minutes while the official documents were printed. Then we came into a nice office and signed our names on each document and in their notary book. I saw Oksana pay them what looked like 500 Grivna. They stamped our docs, put them in plastic sleeves, and we were done.

Next we drove to the inspector’s office near Stara Zburyivka. The front door was blocked by scaffolding as the building is getting a much needed makeover. So we walked around the back of the building and found an open door. We walked through the back and into a small library. From there we made it to the front of the building and up the narrow spiral staircase to the 2^nd floor where their office is. Once there, the three inspectors (we found out that they are equivalent to US social workers) jumped to work making many, many phone calls while discussing things with Oksana and each other for the next 3 ½ to 4 hours. At one point, they said that Vasya did not have a brother, but a cousin (the words are close, and it looked like someone made a mistake in entering in the information). So this looked good. Then out of the blue Oksana tells us that, in fact, Vasya does have a 9 yr old brother in another orphanage who was just registered in September. This means that he is not available for international adoption until Nov 2009. Since siblings cannot be separated, this means Vasya is not available either. This brought Kari to tears while she thanked the ladies for trying so hard for us. This obviously moved the three ladies who tried to encourage Kari to be strong. Kari and I excused ourselves to the hallway for about 30 minutes to talk and pray. It’s hard to understand why God has allowed this to happen, but we still trust Him and submit to Him. One thought I had was that by us going through all of this investigation, maybe the brothers can be reunited if they can send the younger boy to SB.

Regarding Sasha, we kept hearing “Babushka” and “Nova Kakhovka” over and over again. Babushka is grandmother, and Nova Kakhovka is a city near Kherson. Sasha has a half-sister (different fathers). His sister’s father’s mother is her guardian now. The inspector in her area said that she has talked to the grandmother, and she said she will sign a release form to separate the siblings. We will be taking this form to the regional inspector and ultimately to her tomorrow to get her signature. Once we have that, it will be up to another official to OK the separation of these siblings. According to Oksana and the inspectors in Sasha’s region, there is no reason for them not to OK this. But the Kherson region is very touchy about separating siblings right now due to the new law and a recent incident. Hopefully we can get this official’s signoff tomorrow as well. We hope to meet the grandmother and see Sasha’s sister, and perhaps even get a picture of her and her address in case Sasha ever wants to contact her in the future.

A Miracle-Tuesday, December 16

Kari:

What a day. It is hard to even describe it. Today I saw God work a miracle like I have never witnessed before. At 10 a.m. Oksana picks us up. Our first stop is about an hour away in Nova Kakhovka. This is the inspector in the region that Sasha’s grandmother lives. Sasha has a half sister that lives with her grandmother. We don’t know if Sasha knows he has a sister as no one has come to visit him the past two and a half years he has been in the orphanage. For us to be able to adopt Sasha, his grandmother-who is his half sister’s legal guardian-has to sign a document stating she will allow the two siblings to be separated. We think it will not take long as the inspector talked to her two weeks ago, and she said she would sign it. We have a hard time finding the inspector’s office. We keep driving up and asking people if they know where school #1 is because we know it is by that. Our driver and Oksana think it is very funny nobody knows where the school is. When we find it, the inspector is gone, but her assistant goes with us. I am so tired and emotionally drained from the day before that I hardly say hello to her. On the car ride over I am wondering if I should have been more friendly.

Our second stop is a small building. This is the Secretary of the Executive Committee. Apparently there is no notary in this area, so we have to stop here, and this person can verify that a document is official. The assistant inspector goes in alone.

Next we head to the babuska’s house. We have trouble finding her house also. There are not many street signs, and most buildings are not marked. We turn down a dirt road with small, one room homes. We pull up next to a small, brick house with a fence. The asst inspector goes up and knocks on the fence. Then an older lady comes out and lets her in. This is the grandmother. We wait a long time, Jim, Oksana and I stuffed in the back seat. We pretty much wear our coats all day long as the buildings are cold, and when we sit in the car Vitaly turns it off, and it gets cold quickly. I look at the clock thinking at least 10 minutes have passed. I thought this was going to be easy. Then the asst inspector and the grandmother come outside. It looks like a heated discussion, and it doesn’t appear to be going well. I have already been praying, but it feels more urgent now. The asst inspector comes and gets Oksana and talks briefly to her. I ask if we can come talk to the grandmother. Oksana says not yet as the grandmother is being very aggressive. My heart sinks. They talk outside for awhile. I am praying that this grandmother thinks of Sasha. She already said she can’t take care of him. No one has come to visit him. What future does he have? I pray her heart will be softened. Then they all go back inside the house. We sit in the car and wait. I pray, cry softly, and continue to pray. I pull out the scriptures the Houghtons gave us from their adoption process and the ones Jim and I have leaned on throughout this. Jim and I start praying together. There is a battle going on for this orphan, and it is intense. Outside we see a pack of dogs run by in the field in front of us. At times an older person walks by. A man comes by herding two cows with a stick. A bunch of geese cross the road, and roosters and chickens and stray dogs go back and forth. This hour on a dusty road deep in Ukraine may mean an orphan gets a family, or he will stay in the orphanage, probably until he ages out. It is a very long hour until they come outside again. The grandmother lets them out the gate, and they come back to the car. Oksana says she signed the document. It is a miracle, and I start crying. Oksana tells us at first the grandmother would not even listen to a word they said. She has heard the lie that people adopt internationally to harvest the organs of the children. But eventually Oksana and the inspector are able to convince her that we love Sasha. The grandmother cries because she cares for him. Oksana shows her the pictures we brought of Sasha with us this summer and our photo album. Oksana tells her we will write and send pictures, but the grandmother doesn’t believe we will follow through when we are gone. They call Sasha’s aunt who tells the grandmother that neither of them can take care of Sasha now or when he leaves the orphanage. He has a chance if he goes to America, and they should give him that opportunity. She says she will agree, but we have to come back and meet her and bring Sasha once we have picked him up from the orphanage after the 10 day wait so she can see him again and he can see his sister and aunt. She also asks to keep the pictures we have of Sasha. Oksana tells her we will come back with him. Eventually she agrees, and the inspector hand writes the document because the grandmother cannot see well. She signs it and dates it. We are so grateful to know how much his grandmother really cares for him, and we will tell Sasha that. We are happy to come back and meet her and will follow up with letters and pictures. She has given us a great privilege to raise Sasha. It truly is a miracle that we will be able to adopt him, and I thank God for giving me a greater appreciation for Sasha.

Then we go back to the Secretary of the Executive Committee to have her verify the grandmother’s signature. Then we drive to another building that Oksana and the asst inspector go into to make copies of the letter. Next it is back to the inspector’s office. This time the head inspector and another lady are there also. This lady writes something on each document and stamps each copy next to the grandmother’s signature. Then she hands it to the head inspector who signs each copy. As this all happens, Oksana and the asst inspector tell the story of the grandmother. When all of the documents are finished, the three women wish us luck with Sasha’s adoption. All of the inspectors we have met so far have been so nice, helpful and supportive of us, and we are grateful. But at this point I am feeling like I can’t take much more and cannot wait to have all of these approvals and this day be over.

Our next stop is to the inspector in the region that Sasha was registered in. We go in and are introduced to the inspector. Her and Oksana talk awhile, and then she says she knows Sasha’s history. She tells us when he was 9 they found him in a field. His mom did not take care of him. For awhile he went from house to house begging. He was seriously neglected, did not go to school and was delayed mentally. She says we must know this, but she said it is common, and many times with proper care they can catch up. She says, “This boy has experienced a lot in his short life.” She is happy we want to adopt him and says that all children are better in a family than an orphanage. No Ukrainian families have wanted to adopt Sasha, so she thinks it is best for him to go with us. The municipal authority will have to approve it, but she thinks this will be no problem. She will do the paperwork as fast as possible, and it will be ready to pick up tomorrow or the next day. She asks to see our photo album. Jim pulls it out. She asks who made it, and we tell her Tatum, our daughter, put it together. She admires the pictures. When she sees the ones of our home, she says it will be a long time before Ukraine will have homes like ours. She asks if we are believers, and we say, “Yes.” She asks what kind, and we say, “Christian.” I was hoping this was the last stop and we would have all of the papers we need to go visit Sasha again at SB, but we must keep waiting and praying. We still have a long process to go through to bring him home. The municipal authority must agree. Then all of the papers go to Kiev and the State Department for Adoption must approve them. Then they are all sent back to Kherson where we will have our first court date and the judge must approve the adoption, so please continue to pray that all of these legal steps go well.

Then we drive back to Kherson. The sun is beginning to set. This is the first day the sun has been out most of the day. We even catch a small sunset. We ask Oksana to call A at the sanatorium and tell her why we haven’t been back since the day she made her decision. Oksana bought her a phone card since she was out of minutes. We had told A we would bring her a phone card, but since we haven’t been back, Oksana did it for us. She is so thoughtful. She conveys our messages to A that Tatum says she loves her and is glad to have a sister, and that her uncles and aunts send their love and can’t wait to meet her. A says to tell Tatum she loves her, too. Then she asks again if we can adopt her friend Natasha who will be available next summer. She has a 15 or 16 year old sister also. It is hard to explain to her that this is a very long, complicated and expensive process. To her it appears that we just show up at the orphanage and ask for her, yet we have been doing extensive paperwork, medical tests, taking required education, getting fingerprinted and our criminal backgrounds checked, and a hundred other things that were required for our dossier. Then we have had to go through all of the legal channels here to get us to the moment we met her. We really do not know if we will ever do it again and cannot make any promises.

Lastly, we stop at A’s orphanage so Oksana can pick up the final paperwork. I am so tired and turned around. I get out of the car and take a picture of it because I am trying to capture all of these buildings. I get in and say to Jim, “I don’t know what place this is.” He says, “This is A’s orphanage.” We haven’t been here since the first day in Kherson-another highly emotional day-and I didn’t even recognize it.

Oksana wants to stop by the inspector’s office and give them A’s paperwork. On the way they drop us off at the supermarket, and we navigate it alone for the first time. Then they pick us up. The inspector was closed already. They drop us off at the Bible House. We thank God for the miracles we witnessed today. We serve an incredible and powerful God who cares deeply for orphans.

Later tonight I get an email from Karen Springs, an American missionary in Kiev. She says A has a vibrant personality, and her caregiver says she is “very firey and can push the limits.” I think about that and the extra care Sasha may need because of his hard childhood and know God probably is giving us two instead of three because that will be our limit for now.

PS: Jim will post some new pics soon.