Babushka Day

The first time I saw Josh’s Babushka was a month and a day ago. She was aggressive and reluctantly agreed to release him and allow us to adopt him. Today she was a loving grandma who showered Josh with hugs and kisses, and a new friend who hugged and kissed me as we left.

Note- I’m calling him Sasha in most of this post since we were at his Babushka’s house today.

We left for her house in Райсвке at 11:30, and arrived right at 1:00. Before I could even get out of the car she was there hugging and kissing Josh and talking to him rapidly while she cried. Josh’s sister, Nastia, stood behind and waited her turn to give him a polite hug. I could tell she was glad to see him, though. I shook grandma’s (Luba) hand and said it was a pleasure to meet her. She was warm and kind. Then I said hello to Nastia and shook her hand as well. Luba ushered us inside. Inside her small house was a mudroom where we took off our shoes, and she gave slippers to everyone. The next room was a small kitchen, then the main living area with a TV on, a table and cabinet to one side, and a couch, chair and several stools for sitting around the table. Luba asked us to sit. I sat on one end of the couch with Josh next to me, and Luba next to him with her arm around him, still talking rapidly. Luba’s oldest daughter Zoya arrived soon with her 24 year old son, Yuri.

They said Sasha’s mom, Galina, was a good pupil, smart, but turned to alcohol. Two days ago at the orphanage I was told his mom was dead, but it seems that she is alive. Sasha’s father was from Odesa, was never married to Galina, but lived with her before leaving her and going back to Odesa. We had a long discussion on the history of their family and how Sasha came to the orphanage. That part I’ll keep private.

Grandma Luba wondered if Sasha was calling me Papa. Yes, he is. She said he hopes he will be fine in America.They moved the table to the middle of the room and filled it with meat, cheese, bread, and cake. They offered us chai, and I accepted. They said Nastia goes to the orphanage, but comes here at night and on weekends. Luba joked once that we should switch – Sasha should stay with her, and we should adopt Nastia. Later, both Zoya and Yuri said they wanted us to adopt them as well. I said, “Let’s all go!” They asked if I knew Sasha's birthday, and I said Dec. 9. They said it is actually Dec. 8, so his birth certificate is wrong.

Once we started eating, I thanked Luba for letting us visit, and told her that Sasha’s been asking almost every day when we were coming to visit. I then thanked her for Kari and I for her letting us adopt him, and that we will take good care of him. She said, “I hope. I hope he will be happy.” I asked Sasha if he will be happy at our house. He just quietly nodded his head. I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm, but that’s OK.

Sasha and Nastia went outside for awhile and saw a girl, Lena, from across the street, who he remembered playing with, so I went out and took her picture with Sasha and Nastia. They came back in a few minutes later and asked if they could go to the store nearby, and Sasha wanted some money so he could buy a present for Nastia and his babushka. Oksana recommended 50 grivna, but I didn’t have a 50, so I have him 100, and told him to get something nice. He came back later with a large stuffed animal that talks for Nastia, but he needed 5 more grivna because it cost 105. I gave him 5 more, and they went back to the store again to complete the sale. Sasha picked out the animal himself, they said.

Luba was curious of the conditions at SB, so Oksana explained it to her. Luba also wondered how many kids came to the camp during the summer. I said 8, which surprised Oksana. She thought there were 20. They were curious if our school system was similar to theirs. I gave them our school schedule and breaks. They asked if I was originally from Ukraine (which I thought was strange since I don’t speak any Russian), then asked how long we’ve been working on the paperwork for adoption (since February), when was our appointment (Dec 10^th), and if the government provides financial support for our adoption. Oksana was surprised to hear that they do. I told them that we do get a tax credit, but it doesn’t nearly cover all of the costs. I also told them that today is my 42^nd day here in Ukraine. Then they asked if we have gas heat. I said yes but didn’t explain that it was different, not radiators like they have. At one point Yuri was making a show of touching one of the walls, so I went over and asked if it was hot, and yes, it was very hot. The radiator was either in the wall or on the other side of it. They asked me how old I was and if both Kari and I work. I told them yes, but Kari works mostly during school hours. I also said that I work from home a lot.

Oksana recommended that I show them the same pictures I showed Ashley yesterday on my computer, so I did. There are a lot of house pictures, so they asked me how many rooms are in my house. I don’t know for sure, so I told them I thought there were 12, which I think is right if you don’t count bathrooms. I felt kind of bad since we were sitting in a 3 room house. During photos Grandma Luba said a few times how much Sasha looks like his mother.

They laughed a lot about Yuri liking chai so much and told a long story about that. (As a baby he’d cry out “chai!” at night, and in kindergarten he was well known for how much chai he drank).

I told them that I didn’t have any more questions and thanked them again. Grandma Luba said that we were welcome to spend the night, they had plenty of room. I declined as politely as I could. Then they said that the next time we come to Ukraine, we don’t need to find an apartment, we can stay with them. I thanked them and said they are welcome at our house as well. Zoya said that it was impossible for them to go to America because of the financial costs. She said she works as a cook at the school and earns 500 grivna a month (about $70). It made me want to pull out a $100 bill and tuck it in her Bible, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. She used to work at the airport in Moscow, and that was a good job. She said she should have stayed, but she came back here because of love. She later said that she’s been divorced for 20 years now (she’s 47 now, so she must have divorced rather early in her marriage).

Grandma Luba said she visited SB once, but there were no paving stones in the courtyard then. I assumed she visited Sasha, but those paving stones look like they’ve been there a lot longer than 3 years. Later, when we were outside, she was apologizing to Sasha for not visiting him, that she did not know where he was, so I’m not sure.

After visiting for 3 hours, I said it was time for us to go. As we were getting up Sasha asked if he could stay here one more night. That broke my heart and made me happy at the same time. I said I was sorry, but we had to go, but I was happy that he would like to stay here tonight. Everyone got their coats on, and Grandma Luba started tearing up again. She hugged Sasha again and told him to be a good boy for his mama and papa and to make sure he writes to them.

Out by the car, several more pictures were taken by Zoya and me. After that, Grandma Luba, Zoya, and Nastia were all crying. Zoya told me goodbye, and I gave her a hug. Then I went to hug Grandma Luba, and she grabbed my neck and pulled me in for a big kiss and hug. I told her we’ll take good care of him. Finally, I gave Nastia a hug as tears were rolling down her cheeks. We said goodbye, got in the car and drove off. I rolled down my window so Sasha could wave, and then he watched out the back window all the way down the street.

When we got back to Kherson, we went straight to Ashley’s for a visit. I gave her friends the pictures I had developed, and I saw Olga tucking a few of them into her photo album. Ashley was in a ‘normal’ mood, I would say. She’s ready to go but not overly excited about it (whereas Josh has been saying, “Zaftra – wooo wooo!”-"Tomorrow – train!”). I asked her if she was done packing yet, and I got a “nyet” that sounded like, “I haven’t even started yet.” I asked her if she needed me to bring her a bag, and she said no. I asked her if she wanted me to take anything with me now, and she said no. I knew that before I even asked the question, but I had to ask. I asked if I could use their restroom, then could not figure out how to flush it. It turns out it’s busted, and you have to fill a bucket with water in the outer part of the bathroom and dump it in the toilet manually. Wish I’d had known that earlier. I coulda held it. While we talked, Josh sat in the common room and watched TV with a few other kids and a caretaker who was knitting. I told Ashley I’ll be here to pick her up at 9:30 a.m. and told her to have fun with her friends on her final night here. We’ll go to church with Sergey and have lunch and see if we can find some DVDs. Then we’ll come back and pick up her things. Oksana will meet us there for that part. Our train is at 11:00 pm, so we’ll need to kill some time – oh, no, more planning to do! We’re on the Simferopol train, which is the nice one, so we’ll be traveling good (I hope). We will arrive in Kiev around 10:30 a.m. and head to Kevin and Eunice's house.